Treasures New & Old; Americans Dress Like

In an article written by a European for other Europeans, the writer said, “Americans dress like children.”

What the general topic of the article was I don’t know, but this flat statement has stayed in my mind for months. It makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Can we really argue with the writer’s thought?

We have to admit that, for a start, virtually everyone, from newborns to bank presidents and teachers, to 80-something ladies, wears blue jeans.

Where had that European writer gotten his ideas on what Americans wear?

I know it wasn’t in New York City, where 99-44/100% of all living creatures wear nothing but black, all day every day.

I don’t think it could have been in Montana, where although 99-44/100% of the people wear blue jeans, clearly they aren’t children. Ranch life is hard and ranchers are not playing.

My theory is that this European writer hasn’t visited the USA and is basing his (and I do think the writer is a man) observation on what he has seen of American tourists over there.

Well, that’s only to be expected, isn’t it? Most Americans who visit Europe are on vacation and will wear “a resort wardrobe” most of the time.

It is true that even to run to the bank and do errands around town, Europeans do dress up, or wear what in this country is called dressing up.

A native Montanan told me when we were on the topic of clothes and debating what was appropriate, when, “Only what’s above the waist counts anyway.”

How liberating that was! Jeans all the way, then all you have to debate is what you put on above the waist.

Well, you don’t want bikini tops in church or anywhere that the mosquitoes might make your life miserable.

You want to be covered against those nasty little guys and against biting flies and maybe against sunburn if your skin is the burnable type.

You want to be covered against the cool and too-cool breezes that might find you as soon as the sun sets.

So by the time a person figures out all the things we need our clothes to protect us from, we’re pretty sure we just want to stay in our jeans.

Jeans are comfortable, durable, adaptable, not too expensive, and generally, simple to care for.

Does anyone really care whether jeans ever have a crease?

I do have to say, though, that I’ve known feminine eyelashes to flutter at the thought of “a guy with blue eyes, in pressed jeans.”

Other than this susceptibility, creases can be forgotten with reference to blue jeans. Maybe crease-less trousers do look like play clothes.

It seems to be a truism that in Europe, everything is expensive. A cup of coffee costs $2.50, and that’s per cup. No one there has ever heard of “the bottomless cup.” In fact, the bottom of the cup is dismayingly near the rim.

How anyone over there can afford the really dressy clothes which are considered standard running-to-the-corner-grocery garb, I don’t know.

My mother would have said, “Better change into your everyday clothes before you go to the store.” She grew up poor and clothes were to be treated with care and respect.

Whatever it is, some people see us as dressing like children.

Aside from our wearing jeans everywhere, did that writer mean we wear frivolous colors all day every day?

Did he mean that a wash-and-wear wardrobe is for children? I have noticed on a few trips to Europe that they go in for awful colors.

There is no polite word for a very popular color women were wearing.

Come to think of it, I suppose that Europeans wear colors they think of as sophisticated.

A couple of (American) catalogs for summer clothes arrived here recently. One shows almost all bright or pretty colors; the other has lots of neutrals and some black.

I wonder how many of these outfits would pass muster in Europe. Is “butter” a sophisticated color?

Is “coral rose”? What about “pastel lilac”?

An American couple I know were once missed in a crowd by the European people who were meeting them because they were slim, therefore did not look like the Europeans expected Americans to look, i. e., overweight.

Could we actually be spotted in a crowd by the children’s clothing we would be wearing?

What if we were to take a poll among Europeans, saying, “Some Europeans think that Americans dress like children. What is your response to this?”

If the person says, “Yes, we do think Americans dress like children,” the next question could be, “How do you describe how you dress?”

I’d be very interested in the answer.