My Answer

Q: I don’t understand myself. Sometimes I believe very strongly in Jesus and feel close to Him, but then it all fades away, and I’m filled with all kinds of doubts. Why can’t I have a strong faith, like some of my friends do?

A: The most important truth I can tell you is that God doesn’t want you to have an unstable, up-and-down faith! He wants you to have a strong faith—and because God wants your faith to be strong, He has given you everything you need to make it possible.

Think of it this way. Suppose you never ate nourishing food, or you never exercised. Suppose too that you never made an effort to spend time with other people. What would happen to you? You know the answer: you’d grow weaker and weaker, both physically and emotionally. And if it went on too long, you’d get sick, or even die. We all need food and exercise, and we also need other people if we’re to stay healthy.

The same is true spiritually. If we never feed our souls, we’ll grow weaker and weaker spiritually. God will seem distant … doubts will fill our minds … and we’ll be more vulnerable to sin. We need food—the spiritual “food” that God has already provided for us—to keep strong.

What is this spiritual “food”? First, God has given us His Word, the Bible. He also has given us the privilege of prayer, welcoming us into His presence at any time. In addition, He has given us other believers (especially through the church) to encourage and help us. Make each of these part of your spiritual “diet” every day. The Bible says, “Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation” (1 Peter 2:2).

Q: Why do some people make a habit of stretching the truth a bit, even when they don’t have to? I have a friend like this, and while I enjoy her company, I know I can’t really trust everything she says (for example, when she’s bragging about her family or talking about other people). It’s harmless, I suppose, but why does she do it?

A: No lie is ever completely harmless, even if it seems so at the time. After all, a lie is meant to deceive, and to convince its hearers that something is true which is actually false. As the Bible says, “No lie comes from the truth” (1 John 2:21).

But a lie not only hurts the person who is deceived by it; a lie also hurts the one who tells it. I’m thankful you have remained a friend to this person; you may be able to help her in the future. But your friendship is a cautious friendship; you know you can’t trust her completely (and so do other people). One of the Ten Commandments says, “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16). The Bible also says, “Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor” (Ephesians 4:25).

Why do people lie? Often they lie in order to conceal something—a wrong they’ve done, or a personal failure. But sometimes a person lies in order to build themselves up in the eyes of others. Down inside they may feel insecure, or they want to make people think they’re important—and so they “stretch the truth.”

Pray for your friend, that she won’t only realize what she’s doing, but will also give her life to Christ. Pray too that God will help you to know how to help her.