DeShaw Shares Powerful Message

"They call me crazy" were the first words in a video presentation that opened the powerful message shared by country musician Jason DeShaw on September 7 in Harlem. Students from both Turner Public School (TPS) and Harlem Junior and Senior High School gathered in the Harlem High School Gymnasium last Wednesday to hear DeShaw, who combined his songs and his personal story to bring awareness to mental health challenges.

The speaker was invited to Blaine County by the Tristan Billmayer Memorial Foundation. As a show of support and awareness, most of the Turner contingent wore t-shirts in memory of the former TPS student who took his life in 2015. "We lose someone to suicide because of illness, not choice," DeShaw told the crowd.

He reported that Montana leads the nation in suicide, suggesting that that statistic may derive from the "cowboy up/toughen up" attitude held by many Montanans. "But when pain exceeds hope and you have no words for how you feel, life gets overwhelming. Happiness and hope don't exist in the abyss. I want people to know they're not alone with mental illness and addiction. Stigma is just a softer word for discrimination. When there's love, understanding, and compassion, there's no room for stigma to exist. This is the Civil Rights movement of our time."

DeShaw added, "The brain is another organ in the body, just like the heart. However, if you have a heart attack, people don't turn their back on you. Instead, they'd probably bring you flowers. Well, I ain't never got a balloon or a casserole for having mental illness."

DeShaw did acknowledge that since he has been making the preceding comment, he has received a casserole or two in the mail.

While growing up in Plentywood in a family of five boys and working on a wheat farm and cattle ranch, DeShaw was inspired by country music's legends Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash. He wrote his first song on a John Deere tractor when he was a senior in high school and recorded it on his mother's answering machine. "That was before cell phones," he laughed.

After he graduated from high school, DeShaw went on to Carroll College in Helena, where he continued to dream of country music stardom. "I was premed for a week," he said. However, his love for music often took precedence over studying. After his parents bought him a guitar his freshman year, DeShaw wrote songs and looked for opportunities to perform. After playing a sold-out show at Helena's Myrna Loy Theater in 2003, he decided he had "officially" launched a career in the music business.

In 2010 while on tour in Canada, DeShaw's life spun out of control and he landed in a psychiatric hospital in Billings. DeShaw had been self-medicating with alcohol, unaware that it actually deepens depression.

"I was diagnosed with alcoholism and Bipolar I Disorder. This health condition causes mood swings from mania to depression.

When I'm in the manic phase of the illness, an immense energy surges through my body. I'm on fire! I ride this high for a while until I begin spiraling over the edge into depression. The experience that damn near killed me has given me a new lease on life. Now I travel the country to humanize mental illness," DeShaw reported.

Armed with a name for his illness and the realization that sobriety is the foundation upon which sanity rests, DeShaw began to look for alternate coping mechanisms. For him, one of those is songwriting. "I write songs to help process the struggle," he stated. "I also have a support system of friends. When we're going through hell, it takes the outsiders to help save us and show some support. You can save lives if you reach them before the shit hits the fan. When we humanize mental illness, when we touch hearts, the mind follows. It's not just a matter of health but of humanity."

DeShaw has shared his message with audiences in prisons, schools, veterans' hospitals, community venues, and the Montana legislature. In 2014, he received the Lionel Aldridge Champions Award from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for exhibiting courage, strength, and leadership on behalf of those living with a serious mental illness.

Although he currently lives in Montana's state capital, DeShaw never strays too far from his cowboy roots and jokingly claims he spent too many years as a "bovine deposit dispersal engineer" to forget. After he had had enough bs, he embarked on a career as a country singer.

"I'm still haunted by my past, but my goal is to send hope and understanding out into the world. The world needs hope; people need to understand mental illness," DeShaw stated. "It's hope that keeps me going. Sometimes, hope is hard to hang on to, and the hardest person to love is yourself, but we cannot close the door on hope. We all have value."

At one point during his presentation, DeShaw's service dog Holly began whining quite audibly. So, DeShaw called her out onto the floor: "Come here, then."

"She's the real star of the show," DeShaw told the audience. "She looks out for me. We can learn important lessons about how to live from dogs and children. They are the best at being in the moment. We survive by being present in the moment. Moments are sacred; the magic is in the moment. The movement towards compassion and understanding begins with us, right here in this moment."

In DeShaw's mind, the technology that was intended to connect us, actually divides. "We can't hear a voice in an email or find emotional connection in a text message. This presentation is not brought to you by Verizon," he laughed. "Technology is no substitute for genuine connection. Love is always the answer."